


When you care enough to send the very best

by yourbuttervoicedbeau (kiwiana)



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Canon Dialogue, Epistolary, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28758108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiana/pseuds/yourbuttervoicedbeau
Summary: Diversity and inclusion is important to us at Hallmark, and we certainly don’t want our LGBT customers to feel like our cards are not meant for them. I don’t believe there are any plans on our roadmap for LGBT-focused cards, but we’re certainly open to suggestions on ways to make our standard card selection less “appallingly heteronormative.”Patrick is a greeting card writer for Hallmark. David has Opinions.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 178
Kudos: 482





	When you care enough to send the very best

**Author's Note:**

> midnightstreet posted a photo of her local Target with lots of queer greeting cards, and my hand slipped. Please ignore a lot of corporate-related inaccuracies in this fic. It’s fanfiction, baby, it doesn’t have to reflect any semblance of reality.
> 
> Thank you so much to Januarium for letting me bounce this off her when I got halfway through and realised I might actually need a plot point or two 😂
> 
> (I'd also be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the fact that Hallmark's greeting card arm have, in real life, been pretty progressive through the years -- they had gender neutral wedding/commitment ceremony cards back before most states in the US had even legalised same sex marriage. But hey, in this alternate universe they weren't quite so on top of things.)

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Your abysmal card selection

To: corporate@care.hallmark.com

Sent: 12 Feb 2015 23:04

Dear corporate,

I’m writing to complain about your appallingly heteronormative greeting card selection. It’s 2015, queer people exist, and I’d like to be able to buy a card for the guy I’m seeing that isn’t aggressively and unnecessarily straight.

Do better.

Regards,  
David Rose

**EMAIL:**

From: Melanie.Truscott@hallmark.com

Subject: Fwd: Your abysmal card selection

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 13 Feb 2015 09:33

Hi Patrick,

No need to respond, just thought you might want to see this feedback...

Melanie Truscott  
Customer Care Manager  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Fwd: Your abysmal card selection

To: Melanie.Truscott@hallmark.com

Sent: 13 Feb 2015 09:47

Hi Mel,

I’m happy to go back to this guy if you want me to? I get the feeling he might be more satisfied with a response from my team than what he perceives to be a generic corporate response.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: Melanie.Truscott@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Fwd: Your abysmal card selection

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 13 Feb 2015 10:07

Yeah, you might be right about that. He’s all yours :)

Melanie Truscott  
Customer Care Manager  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Fwd: Your abysmal card selection

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 13 Feb 2015 10:39

Hi David,

My name’s Patrick, and I’m a head writer here at Hallmark. Our corporate team passed your feedback on — thanks for sharing your feelings!

Diversity and inclusion is important to us at Hallmark, and we certainly don’t want our LGBT customers to feel like our cards are not meant for them. I don’t believe there are any plans on our roadmap for LGBT-focused cards, but we’re certainly open to suggestions on ways to make our standard card selection less “appallingly heteronormative.”

If you have any further concerns, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. Thanks for choosing Hallmark!

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Fwd: Your abysmal card selection

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 13 Feb 2015 15:43

Oh my god.

Um, there is a slight chance I was very drunk when I wrote this email.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Fwd: Your abysmal card selection

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 13 Feb 2015 16:52

Hi David,

Well, your drunk spelling is remarkably impressive!

Drunk or not, it was valuable feedback for us to receive, and we appreciate you taking the time.

I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Fwd: Your abysmal card selection

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 14 Feb 2015 14:12

Valentine’s Day is corporate garbage. (No offence.)

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Fwd: Your abysmal card selection

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 16 Feb 2015 14:38

Hi David,

I’m not offended — I didn’t invent it.

Still, those are strong words from someone who was apparently invested enough in finding the right card for their boyfriend that he sent an email to Hallmark at 11pm.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Fwd: Your abysmal card selection

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 16 Feb 2015 15:27

He was NOT my boyfriend, he was the guy I was seeing. And now I’ve walked in on him fucking MY assistant in MY office he’s not even that.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Fwd: Your abysmal card selection

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 17 Feb 2015 11:11

Hi David,

First of all, sorry for the late response — the f-bomb in your last email tripped the corporate spam filter.

I’m really sorry to hear that happened to you, and especially on Valentine’s Day. You deserve better.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Fwd: Your abysmal card selection

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 17 Feb 2015 13:20

Apparently I don’t.

Also, “f-bomb”? What are you, 12?

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Fwd: Your abysmal card selection

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 17 Feb 2015 13:41

Hi David,

Not 12 — just a professional sending emails on a corporate network.

And you do. Everyone deserves better than to be treated like that.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

* * *

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Category suggestion

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 10:52

I cannot find a single card that expresses the sentiment “I’m so glad you escaped your hostage situation”. Seems like a gap in the market, if you ask me.

Regards,  
David Rose

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Category suggestion

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 11:02

Well hi there, David Rose. I wasn’t expecting to see another email from you.

You’re right — that is a grievous oversight. I’ll make sure to pitch it at the next management meeting. Just so I can make sure my PowerPoint presentation has the most accurate information possible, what exactly do you think the market reach would be for this category? Can you give me an estimate of total yearly sales? (To the nearest 10,000 is fine.)

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 12:29

You're either very impatient or extremely sure of yourself. But as it happens, I’m pretty sure my sister would keep that category afloat all by herself.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 13:05

Are you trying to tell me that your sister is regularly taken hostage?

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 13:17

Um, yes?

Wait, do you seriously not know who I am?

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 13:40

…Am I supposed to?

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 14:01

My sister is Alexis Rose?

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 14:17

Oh, wow.

Okay, yeah, even I pay enough attention to celebrity gossip to know a stack of post-hostage cards would be useful for you.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 14:22

Not sure if I should be relieved or offended that you recognised my sister’s name and not mine.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 14:34

If it makes you feel any better, it only rang a bell because my ex watched her show.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 14:52

My apologies to your ex for having to sit through that.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 16:34

Attached:  hostagecards.pptx (5 MB) 

What do you think? Good enough to kick up the chain?

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 16:38

My god.

Don’t you have a job to do?

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 16:41

It was a quiet afternoon, apart from a flurry of emails from one disgruntled customer.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 16:44

“Target audience: socialites and their aggrieved family members” I’m glad you think you’re funny.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Category suggestion

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 24 Feb 2015 16:47

Someone has to!

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

* * *

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Checking in

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 04 Mar 2015 08:31

Hi David,

I just saw the news — I’m so sorry for what you and your family are going through right now.

I know we don’t know each other, but I wanted you to know you’re in my thoughts.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Checking in

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 05 Mar 2015 12:22

You know what’s sad? You’re the only person who’s gotten in touch to check on me.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Checking in

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 05 Mar 2015 13:14

I’m sorry to hear that, David. You can email me anytime.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

* * *

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Birthday cards

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 10 Jun 2015 13:44

Why are all your birthday cards so LOVING???? This is not the message I want to send.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Birthday cards

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 10 Jun 2015 14:14

Wow. Hi, David. It’s been a while — I hope you’re well.

To answer your question, here at Hallmark we pride ourselves on prioritising love. If you’re not ready to express that kind of commitment yet, can I suggest looking at our cards for friends section instead of cards for a partner?

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Birthday cards

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 10 Jun 2015 14:20

Ewwwwwww, I’m looking for a card for my MOM, not for a partner. We’re not the Bloomfields, thanks so much.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Birthday cards

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 10 Jun 2015 14:27

I don’t know who the Bloomfields are, but you don’t want to tell your mom you love her?

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Birthday cards

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 10 Jun 2015 14:30

No thanks. Did that once, have no desire to repeat the experience.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Birthday cards

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 10 Jun 2015 14:39

Fair enough.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

* * *

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Sorry cards

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 06 Jul 2015 10:14

Got any cards that say “Sorry I didn’t realise you still had feelings for me after we stopped sleeping together and blew up our friendship by asking you to move with me as a friend”?

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Sorry cards

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 06 Jul 2015 10:51

…Everything okay, David?

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Sorry cards

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 06 Jul 2015 11:03

Not really, no.

If you have any “Sorry I stole your truck” cards those would also be useful.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Sorry cards

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 06 Jul 2015 11:08

Wow, sounds like you’ve had an eventful couple of weeks.

I’m dying to know: are these cards going to the same person?

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sorry cards

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 06 Jul 2015 11:12

Unfortunately, no.

Then again, I ran away on my birthday and no one remembered or cared, so I don’t know why I’m bothering to make amends.

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sorry cards

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 06 Jul 2015 11:16

Well, happy belated birthday! How old are we?

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sorry cards

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 06 Jul 2015 11:18

No.

* * *

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Fwd: You have received an ecard from Patrick Brewer!

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 06 Jul 2015 12:03

What the fuck is this?

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Fwd: You have received an ecard from Patrick Brewer!

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 07 Jul 2015 09:07

Spam filter, David.

I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday! If I’d known earlier, I would have had a lot more designs to choose from.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Fwd: You have received an ecard from Patrick Brewer!

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 07 Jul 2015 10:17

Are ANY of them less horrifying than this?

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Fwd: You have received an ecard from Patrick Brewer!

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 07 Jul 2015 10:23

Nope :)

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Fwd: You have received an ecard from Patrick Brewer!

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 07 Jul 2015 10:28

I’d like to lay a complaint.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Fwd: You have received an ecard from Patrick Brewer!

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 07 Jul 2015 10:37

Design isn’t actually my area, but I’ll be sure to pass your concerns on!

* * *

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Your birthday cards continue to be terrible

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 30 Sep 2015 20:22

I don’t WANT to tell my sister how wonderful she is. I want to tell her I tolerate her at best.

Also the fact that your email won’t let me swear is ridiculous. You should text me. (416) 555-0115

**TEXT MESSAGE:**

+1-660-555-4723   
  
**Thu, 01 Oct,** 9:19 AM  
**Patrick:** Hi David, sorry we don’t have any ‘I tolerate you’ cards at this time.  
**David:** Um, who is this??  
**Patrick:** Do you regularly send your phone number to unsuspecting greeting card writers?  
**David:** Oh my god  
**David:** Okay in my defense I was very high last night  
**David:** But you don’t have to text me if you don’t want to  
**Patrick:** And what if I do want to?  
**David:** Um  
**David:** Then that’s fine  
**Patrick:** Good

* * *

**TEXT MESSAGE:**

Patrick  
  
**Fri, 20 Nov,** 10:04 AM  
**David:** The lack of “Congrats on your thriving new milk business” cards is astounding  
**Fri, 20 Nov,** 5:17 PM  
**David:** Actually scratch that  
**David:** The lack of “Congrats on not getting arrested for your illegal milk empire” cards is astounding  
**Patrick:** I’m so sorry I didn’t text you back, I was in a full day meeting with the higher ups  
**Patrick:** Sounds like you’ve had an… interesting day  
**David:** Oh, this is nothing to do with me, I’m staying far, far away from it  
**Patrick:** Seems sensible

* * *

**TEXT MESSAGE:**

Patrick  
  
**Mon, 23 Nov,** 8:19 PM  
**David:** Have you ever had to search for your mother’s nudes on the internet?  
**David:** Because now I have, and I’m traumatised  
**David:** Sidenote, you should really consider “sorry there aren’t any nudes of you on the internet” cards  
**Patrick:** Wait  
**Patrick:** She’s upset that there AREN’T naked photos of her floating around online?  
**David:** Trying to understand my mother’s thought processes is a lost cause  
**Patrick:** I’ll have to take your word for it

* * *

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Queer Christmas cards????????

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 07 Dec 2015 15:33

Attached:  IMG_2581.jpg (912 KB) 

Yes I am sending you an email instead of a text because this is work related. I went to buy my mom a card (one that actually exists, for once) and I was assaulted by this garish Christmas display but??? It includes “male couple” and “female couple” and “wife to wife” and “husband to husband”??????

Patrick, did you know about this?

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Queer Christmas cards????????

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 07 Dec 2015 16:14

I pitched it a few months back. We’ll be expanding our birthday/anniversary ranges as well, but wanted to get this in place for Christmas.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Queer Christmas cards????????

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 07 Dec 2015 16:20

That’s amazing.

**TEXT MESSAGE:**

Patrick  
  
**Mon, 07 Dec,** 9:07 PM  
**Patrick:** So, those Christmas cards  
**David:** The queer ones?  
**Patrick:** Yeah  
Patrick is typing…

**TEXT MESSAGE:**

Patrick  
  
**Mon, 07 Dec,** 9:19 PM  
**David:** Okay I’ve been watching the text bubbles appear and disappear for ten minutes now  
**David:** And to be honest I’m not great with, like, genuine human emotion  
**David:** But I get the impression that whatever you’re trying to type out is hard for you to say  
**David:** So whatever it is, I’m listening  
**Patrick:** I’m gay  
**Patrick:** Wow  
**Patrick:** That’s the first time I’ve said it out loud  
**Patrick:** Or… you know what I mean  
**David:** Well thank you for trusting me with it  
**Patrick:** And I feel like a lot of things make sense now  
**Patrick:** But I also feel like I really should have known before now, you know?  
**Patrick:** I was with my ex for TEN YEARS  
**David:** Okay well first of all there’s no perfect timeline so don’t even worry about that  
**David:** And second of all we live in a society that pushes and rewards heteronormativity so it’s hardly surprising that not everyone figures out their sexuality super young  
**David:** When you’re surrounded by subtle and not so subtle messages about what sexuality should look like of course you’re going to try and map that onto your own feelings  
**Patrick:** Wow  
**Patrick:** That was surprisingly insightful  
**David:** Fuck you I contain multitudes  
**Patrick:** But seriously, David, thank you  
**David:** You’re welcome, Patrick  
**Read** 10:12 PM

* * *

**TEXT MESSAGE:**

Patrick  
  
**Fri, 25 Dec,** 2:29 PM  
**Patrick:** Merry Christmas, David!  
**David:** Merry Christmas Patrick  
**Patrick:** How are you celebrating this year?  
**David:** We’re not really  
**David:** Before we wound up here used to throw these lavish Christmas parties  
**David:** I’m sure you read about them  
**Patrick:** I have not  
**David:** Well they were big, and they were fun  
**David:** So I think we all just sort of decided to fast forward through the holidays this year  
**Patrick:** I’m sorry, David  
**David:** Anyway! What are you doing? Big home cooked meal?  
**Patrick:** I’m actually on my own this year  
**Patrick:** All my family are back in Canada  
**Patrick:** I sort of blew up my life when I took this job, broke up with my girlfriend and moved to Missouri without an explanation  
**Patrick:** I mean I understand what was wrong NOW but I didn’t then  
**Patrick:** And I just  
**Patrick:** I felt like if I went home I’d have to tell them  
**Patrick:** And I didn’t know how to tell them  
**David:** You don’t HAVE to tell them anything  
**David:** What you're dealing with is very personal and it's something you should only do on your own terms  
**David:** You don’t owe anyone the big coming out if you’re not ready for it  
**Patrick:** I know my parents are good people  
**Patrick:** I just can't shake this fear that there's a small chance that this could change everything  
**Patrick:** That they might see me differently or treat me differently  
**David:** I’m not going to pretend that’s not a legitimate fear  
**David:** You’re the only one who knows your parents well enough to make that judgement call  
**David:** But you don’t have to put yourself under any pressure to do it on a particular timeframe  
**Patrick:** Thank you, David  
**Patrick:** How did you come out?  
**David:** Oh, I just brought this couple home one day in college and told my parents to deal with it  
**Patrick:** You are something else, David Rose  
**David:** I’m choosing to take that as a compliment  
**Patrick:** It is

* * *

**TEXT MESSAGE:**

Patrick  
  
**Wed, 13 Jan,** 6:44 PM  
**Patrick:** I’m thinking about moving back to Canada  
**David:** Back to your parents?  
**Patrick:** No, maybe a few hours away  
**Patrick:** I think having a bit of distance between us has been good  
**Patrick:** But I am starting to get a bit homesick  
**Patrick:** And more than a bit over big corporate  
**David:** Well I can’t say I’m feeling particularly pro-Canada right now when it’s approximately a thousand degrees below freezing  
**Patrick:** Fair enough!

* * *

**TEXT MESSAGE:**

Patrick  
  
**Sat, 20 Feb,** 4:19 PM  
**David:** Now that you got the queer greeting cards signed off, do you think you could work on “sorry you asked us to be a throuple and in the process we all ended up single” ones?  
**Patrick:** Sounds like there’s a story there  
**David:** I mean that’s basically the story  
**David:** I was dating this guy, and then I found out Stevie was also dating him, and I thought I could be all modern and chill about it, and then he suggested that WE ALL date  
**David:** So then we both broke up with him obviously  
**Patrick:** What a fascinating life you lead David

* * *

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Moving on

To:

Bcc: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 25 Mar 2016 16:00

Hi all,

For those who haven’t already heard the news, my last day at Hallmark will be this Thursday 31st March. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time here and am so proud of what we’ve accomplished, but Canada is calling me home :)

If I don’t already have your personal contact details, please make sure you fire those through to me before close of business Thursday so we can keep in touch!

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Moving on

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 25 Mar 2016 16:05

You got a new job?

**EMAIL:**

From: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Subject: Re: Re: Moving on

To: davidrose@gmail.com

Sent: 25 Mar 2016 16:14

I did! With a guy who is starting his own card company, and wants someone to come in on the ground floor. It will be an adjustment, but I think I’ll enjoy it. Plus my new boss said there might also be some room for me to help with business consulting, so I can actually use my BComm for something.

Patrick Brewer  
Master Writer and Team Lead  
Hallmark Cards, Inc.

**EMAIL:**

From: davidrose@gmail.com

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Moving on

To: Patrick.Brewer@hallmark.com

Sent: 25 Mar 2016 16:19

Oh my god of course you’re a business major

* * *

**TEXT MESSAGE:**

Patrick  
  
**Thu, 14 Apr,** 10:44 AM  
**David:** Holy shit  
**David:** I tried to be chill in front of Ray because omg you have no idea how much that man can spread gossip  
**David:** But holy shit  
**Patrick:** You took the words right out of my mouth, David  
**David:** No but like HOLY SHIT  
**David:** YOU’RE HERE  
**David:** Why didn’t you tell me you were moving to Schitt’s Creek?  
**Patrick:** I didn’t know you lived in Schitt’s Creek!  
**David:** Wait, really?  
**Patrick:** You never told me where you lived!  
**David:** Oh  
**David:** Well, now you know  
Patrick is typing…

**TEXT MESSAGE:**

Patrick  
  
**Thu, 14 Apr,** 11:03 AM  
**David:** The suspense is killing me  
**Patrick:** You ever tried the Café Tropical?  
**Patrick:** I’ve heard people raving about how moderately edible the food is there  
**David:** I am familiar, yes  
**Patrick:** We could go there for dinner?  
**David:** You don't have to do that  
**Patrick:** And what if I want to?  
**David:** Um, then sure  
**Patrick:** We’ll say eight o'clock  
**David:** Okay  
**Patrick:** Okay  
**Patrick:** I’m looking forward to it, David

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Come and find me on [Tumblr](http://yourbuttervoicedbeau.tumblr.com/).


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